JAH'S JOINT

The most important people in my life are my children. So on Mother's Day, it's only natural that I think about the women who gave birth to my children. That's an even dozen people - seven children and five women who birthed them. (Okay, so maybe I have a somewhat better understanding of why people refuse to believe I'm no longer a 'playa.')

Usually, on Mother's Day, I ignore all of them - no gifts, no cards, no calls - but it wasn't always that way. When I was in my 20s and 30s I would move Heaven and Hell to make sure those four (at that time) women were honored in some way on Mother's Day. So today, I thought I would at least phone them.

Lori: My oldest son's mother (Willis III) and still living in Rochester. The answering machine picked up and informed me there was no more room for messages. Oh well. Happy M-Day anyway, Lori.

Crystal: My first wife and mother of two daughters (Jazmyne and Lindsay), living in Indianapolis. She kept my kids away from me for seven years, coddling the insecurities of her 2nd husband. Sorry, I haven't quite enough forgiveness to call her. Have a day, Crys. That's all I can give.

Barbara: Brandon's Mom and First Lady to become co-grandparent with me (Brandon II). She still lives in Rochester. Barb was shocked to get a call from me, but we had a pleasant conversation. She gave my ego a little boost with a little slightly-more-than-casual flirt. Maybe she's been thinking of old times after Brandon brought her down to one of my open mic performances.

Robin: Mother of Destini and Kahlil, my second wife, living in Jacksonville. Robin was pleasantly surprised. We talked about the kids (she worries that 9-year-old KJ isn't as 'macho' as she would expect and Nini is having problems with geometry class) and a little about job stuff. Bird is cool; we'd still be married, but I was a real jerk back then.

Teresa: Mother of Jonathan, my youngest, resident of Brooklyn. Ti-Ti and I have little in common beyond computer technology and Jon-Jon. I left a message on her home answering machine. She probably won't even check her messages until tomorrow. Just thinking about you, Ti-Ti. Hope you have a great Mother's Day.

Then my thoughts drift to my mothers: Big Mama (Selena Green), Little Mama (Evelyn Lee) and Mama (Almia Anderson). The have all moved on now, my great-grandmother (Big Mama) in 1969, my grandmother (Little Mama) in 1982 and Mama in 2005.

Yesterday, I had an intense cry when the oldies program on the radio played Bill Withers' Grandma's Hands, which has always made me think of Little Mama, and inspired me to write and read the following poem, which I read at Mama's funeral:

Your Hands

They were always there to comfort me
From my very day of birth
Your hands, the way they held me;
Welcomed me to this Earth
Your hands always were so clever
They were always so sure
And those times when I was ailing?
Your hands worked magical cures

Your hands held me up from falling
As I first learned to walk
Hugged me and offered encouragement
When I finally learned to talk
Your hands didn't even balk at my dirtiest diaper
Incredibly smart hands, drawing letters and numbers
And then, like magic, I learned to cypher

Your hands, like your love,
They were always there
How many thousands of times
Were they clenched in prayer
Hands like yours aren't found just anywhere
I thought we'd have your hands forever
It just doesn't seem fair...

Arthritis slowed your hands
But it couldn't slow YOU!
Man's Day was short of hours
For the Lord's work you would do
And None but God knew
When your work here was through

I stood holding your hands
After that last, labored breath
Felt your soul go heaven-bound
Through the Threshold of Death
Hands loving, hands clever,
Hands supportive, hands strong
Your hands are now in God's Hands,
Where they've always belonged

By Jahaka Mindstorm

© 2005 All Rights Reserved

Happy Mother's Day, to those still here and those beyond. I love you all.